The Mean Reds

Ice Cream For Dinner, Catching Up, Letting Go

My friend and favorite bartender Q said to me on Saturday night after she fixed me a virgin cranberry and pineapple juice and took my dinner order, "It's so good to see you eating. And whether you know it or not, you are doing so much better."

I completely agree with her. I'm feeling happier, lighter, more hopeful and less sad.

I had a rough day or two last week - mostly because I was sick and in bed - and had too much time in my head. 

Sometimes I feel like Truman Capote's Holly Golightly in the film adaptation - without the fancy clothes.

Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds? 
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues? 
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling? 
Paul Varjak: Sure. 
Holly Golightly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name! 

Holly is searching for where she fits - not in what city - but where she fits in the world, what her purpose is, how she is useful in the universe, who she is. And she's hiding - hiding from real love. 

My Tiffany's is the beach, getting out on the water to kayak or boat or fish.

View from my favorite pier and weekend job

It's also accomplishing something on my own such as the faucet replacement.

I'm in the middle of creating some more accomplishment opportunities - I just have to find the time.

My sailboats are on Marco now. I own a drill, a drill bit set, a miter saw, a Brad Nailer and a sander.  I have many projects in mind for these tools - first and foremost in my condo. Then my boats (I need jazz hands smiling emoji here).

Be afraid

Current color

Yes?

Now some random thoughts from the past week:

• I'm in my hotel room in Miami and have the loveliest fruit bowl in front of me with my very favorite and the most fun fruits: dragon fruit, pineapple, strawberries, star fruit, kiwi, mango. Seriously - love!

Dreaming of sailing as I look out my hotel window

• Ice cream for dinner - twice in one week.

Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey - I ate around the chocolate chunks and threw them away because I'm a freak and not a big chocolate fan.

Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake - just yum. 

• I wake up and find my keys in my front door more often than I would like to admit.
  
  
  
  

• I have the most wonderful friends. I really do.
  

  Jess always knows when I could use a fuzzy. Petting Boobs the rabbit.

  
  

  Purple polka dot ducky from Jess's son Max

  
  

  New friend Nancy visiting from Canada sent me this gem

  
  
• November means college basketball season starts!
  

  Go CATS!

  
  

• And for your listening pleasure provided by a colleague with whom I regularly exchange musical inspirations:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KkoYOexplQ&feature=youtube (And I have a crazy crush on Justin Timberlake)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_yCEVmepsQ - for fun! I happen to love the third verse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ognnZ3r2qyQ  - you'll dance and laugh.