Am I Doing That Ever? Or Am Wallowing in Self Pity?
A couple of times since my college friend and former newspaper colleague Tim and I reconnected, he has said to me to "go be useful to somebody."
He said it again today - or wrote it since all of our communication has been by text or Facebook Messenger. "Be useful to somebody tonight."
It struck me that I'm pretty much only being useful to myself right now - and then sometimes not even then. Sometimes I'm being harmful to myself - not physically of course. But in my actions or words - I'm not helping myself in some of those instances.
Tim has found his usefulness - he is a high school teacher and running coach. I mean wow, that is really giving of yourself. I've seen in the past few weeks how much he gives to these kids - and he loves it. Or most of the time - maybe not when his seniors are misbehaving. I am sure he is much more than teacher or coach to many more people - he has been useful to me of late. Honest and open, encouraging and funny.
I thought that I was giving - to my little family. Then I thought I had nothing to offer anyone else in my current state. But I think that's what Tim is saying - give back in a big way - though he is telling me to start small - and you'll find yourself. At least that's what I'm taking from it.
It's good advice - if you finish each day and answer the question how did I help someone today, you can't wallow too much in your own muck - and perhaps your muck gets clearer because you are useful to somebody.
It's the end of the night and I'm not sure I can say I was useful to anyone. I will try again tomorrow. All we can do is try right?