Struggling to Keep Up With Myself, Let Alone My Blog
Wow, has it really been since July since I have written? I have thought about writing everyday, but like cleaning my house, it gets pushed aside. I have been struggling with WHAT to write.
Mostly, I didn’t want to whine or complain or hurt anyone’s feelings when talking about my inner struggles, big life thoughts and concerns, etc. I didn’t want to brag or perhaps cringe about a new job (Society of Professional Journalists/Facebook digital trainer)- that I LOVE - but can’t live on yet or wonder aloud if I will be able to survive as a contract employee and how to capitalize on this newfound joy in training other journalists and make it WORK with and for me.
So I’m still not going to do that - at least not today. An exciting adventure begins in a few hours. I’m heading to Haiti on a mission trip with my sister Summer and her daughter Jenny and the group Second Chance Haiti.
I am prepared mostly - I have been to third-world countries before; I speak French (though Creole is quite different); I’m packed; I have all my inhalers, nebulizers, prescriptions, possibly needed prescriptions, foods I can eat. What I’m not quite prepared for is being part of a mission. As a journalist, we tend to feel like we have to observe and not get involved. I’m not going as a journalist, though of course, I always am one and I will take pictures of the work being done and notes and probably write while I’m there - though I don’t have any media outlet in mind or under contract.
After Hurricane Irma, I participated instead of observing. I felt a bit like I was copping out - not doing the work other journalists were. But I also felt great - it was a few months after I was laid off at Bloomberg News and right after my recovery from pneumonia. It felt wonderful to be well enough and have to time to help others. There was still journalist guilt.
But I thought and think of now my dear friend and photographer Chris Hondros, who was killed in Misurata, Libya, on April 20, 2011 - a heartbreaking day. Chris believed his work could change people and the world. He also never thought any assignment beneath him - even after his Pulitzer finalist status. When he was in the U.S., he still took assignments for ribbon cuttings and local events - and did it with finesse and professionalism. Chris also helped people - he always made time for his friends and he was touched by the people he met on assignment - never truly jaded or hardened by the war zones, death and destruction he photographed. He also helped people he met while on assignment - in more ways than probably any of us will know.
So, Chris, I don’t dare think that anything I will do in my life will live up to your work or your giant heart - but I will keep you close to me as I take a few steps.
“One of the ongoing themes in my work, I hope, and one of the things I believe in, is a sense of human nature, a sense of shared humanity above the cultural laws we place on ourselves. We place these layers of ethnicity and culture on ourselves, and it really doesn’t mean that much compared to the human experience.”
